Waiting for the Sun to Rise

Last summer, when Chris and I journeyed to Hawaii with his family, we had many different activities planned.  One of them was to climb a mountain that was used as a base after Pearl Harbor to watch the sun rise from the east side of the island.  The plan was to wake up at 3am, get ready, drive an hour across the island, climb the mountain in the dark, and watch the sun rise from the top. " 3 am", I thought.... "what are these people trying to do? Kill me?"

So, the morning of I awoke on time.  No make up, frantic, I packed my bag for the day, put my hair in braids, and waited downstairs for everyone to get ready.  Interestingly enough, some people were late, and the journey began with arguments and frustration as everyone was worried we might miss the sunrise.  The whole way there, there was questions and doubt.  Would we see it?  Would it be cloudy?  If we missed it, would we do it again? (I was thinking... fat chance of me getting up again to do this).  So by the time we parked at the base, we began to run with Chris's family as fast as we could to reach the top.  In the dark and cold path, I quickly realized I was out of shape compared to Chris and his cousins, and I got discouraged.  I kept thinking, "we will never get there.  This is stupid.  Why did I wake up this early for nothing".  (huff, puff, ugh!)

Chris turned from in front of me and said "come on, you'll make it".  Easy for you to say Mr. Physically-fit.  I trudged on.  The mountain was steep so instead of a straight walk, you have to walk around it in a spiral fashion which you don't really realize until about half way.  I thought, "Seriously, God, 4am climbing a mountain?"  I had no idea why anyone would want to do this.  I kept walking.  Chris's family walked/ran at different paces.  His dad struggled to make it and was farther behind me.  I was worried he might not make it to see the sunrise.

Some how in that hour of climbing, I found a rhythm.  It was a painful one, but I just started to look at my feet, one step at a time.  And although I was not the first one to make it, I got to the top.  Chris cheered me on, gave me water, and was so excited for the sunrise.  I, on the other hand, pointed out there were a lot of clouds in the sky and there was little likelihood we would see the sun.  But, it eventually popped out.  And it was pretty.  Really pretty.

The point is, as I watch the snowfall after going through the last few challenging months, I realize I am doing it again.  I am waiting for the sun to rise in my life with my wedding, my new house, my future with Chris, and I keep looking at the clouds, the early mornings, the arguments, the LONG hike, and I forgot to enjoy it.  There is something in me that struggles to just enjoy the moments of challenge rather than taking them in stride.  I have Chris cheering me on and thank God I do.  I know I will get to the top, and the journey back down the hill will be enjoyable, but as I realized I have 5.5 months until the wedding day, I recognize that the sun will not rise for a little while, and I have some mountain left to climb.  Maybe I am out of shape, and maybe it will be hard, but how can I psych myself up for this leg of the journey, so that I can truly enjoy the sunrise (and not just in hindsight)?

So, as I keep hiking, I hope this blog can be about those ups and downs of the journey.  The rhythm that keeps being interrupted by unexpected things.  And hopefully, when I get to the top, I will be ready, to join my fiancé in marriage, smiling and excited for the future.