Ants in My Pants

All the kids I work with are constantly moving and wiggling around.  This week I asked a kid if he had ants in his pants, and he actually looked not knowing what the phrase meant.  While I thought this was strange, I realized and related to their energy today as I realized since breakfast I've hopped from one activity to the next without taking a breath.  With only two weeks until closing on the new house and less than 100 days to the wedding, I know I, too,  officially have ants in my pants... the metaphorical kind at least.

There is something about waiting and anticipating that I am just not very good at.  Even with a slow ketchup bottle I usually will resort to jamming a knife in the bottle if it's not moving fast enough.  I like fast food, drive thru's, banking online, rapid release Tylenol, and already baked rolls.... why?  Because I hate waiting.

When I was five I had an Easy Bake Oven.  I loved it, but I am not sure I ever ate anything that was ever cooked more than 50% of the time.  I would be so excited once I shoved it in the oven that I was anxiously sit outside of the the oven watching it rise.  I would check on it about every five seconds, pulling it out thinking "ugh hurry up little cake" and eventually after about 30 times of pulling it out and poking it, I would just give in a eat it raw.  My treats never looked like bake goods, they looked like warm soup with crispy edges.  I am not sure if the Easy Bake Oven even really worked because I could never even wait for one thing to finish and I was on to the next.  Even as an adult, I prematurely pull out cookies and brownies only to find out the insides just are not ready.  I like instant gratification, and so in times where I can't make time go faster I find myself fluttering around like a little butterfly unable to find a place to land.

Today for example, my fiancé naps while I frantically pack, do laundry, dust, and let out my roommate's dog through out the day.  He is worn out after an hour or two, and I just feel the need to keep cleaning, packing and organizing.  I have mental pictures of how the move might go and where I want to put things.  I just am so excited I can't hold it in.  I make him drive to the house at least once a week to "check on it" as if anything has actually changed...  I realized these ants in my pants are keeping me from enjoying the journey.  That discomfort with not being where I want to be when I want to be keep me anxious, moving, and always thinking about the future rather than the present.

Some of these feelings are normal, but each minute of our day is a gift.  I just had to stop and slow down and be thankful today.  Thankful for the amazing sun warming up the piles of ice, thankful for having food in the pantry and money in the bank, thankful for being healthy, thankful for a big God who has given me so much, thankful for a home and an ability to move into a new home.  There are so many reasons to "stop and smell the roses", but I just want to run through the garden instead trying to see what's behind every next corner.  So, I guess I will stop for now.  I might just sit down for a minute and enjoy a few quiet moments before everything is moving and changing again.  Time to take off those antsy pants and just relax in my jammies....