I finally stepped on the scale and lost another pound. I had even forgot to weigh myself and had drank a cup of coffee and was still down a pound. I had gotten used to getting on and remaining the same each day, so I had no expectations. When I casually stepped on while talking to Chris and realized the pointer was pointing at 165 instead of 166. HOORAY!
While I know I have felt victorious, I still wanted to continue on my weight loss journey. I am down 43 pounds since February, and 4 pounds since starting the cleanse. I have not eaten dairy, flour, sugar, artificial sweetners, pop, fried food, beef, or any other junk like that in the last 12 days (I started the diet portion before the cleanse). I feel really good. I look a lot better. My face is really thinning out. My belly is not as poochie, and my muscles are much more toned. Doing the Shred workout with the Advocare cleanse is allowing me to move back into my old clothes. Stuff I had bought to cover me in the bigger size for the summer is getting too big. It feels so good. I feel so good.
11 pounds left. 13 days. I probably won't make it all the way, but man, to be back in my pants the first day back to work, I am going to feel like a CHAMPION. I've thought a little more about my vacation plans. Still not 100% sure, but one this is for sure, I won't just be nose diving off the cliff back to eating anything. I already have ideas for healthy car snacks, plans for workouts, and ideas for meals throughout the 10 days we are gone. I've become more mindful of what goes in my body. I've realized I was "stress eating" because I didn't put myself first. I was going all day at work barely eating 500 calories then would come home and binge past probably 2000 by bed time.
I need to start making myself a priority. I need to eat, sleep, and realize that working can't be number 1 anymore. Baby, hubby, God, me all need to come way before either of my jobs. And I guess if that means I do things less than perfect, I will have to get some therapy on how to accept that. I always grew up being told "do you best" and "give your all", but I think I misinterpreted that for, "lose yourself in the process so you can BE THE BEST". I twisted a value into shackles of perfection that I was always chasing. I don't know how to "not care" so I am going to try to "care less". I think if I can just find that balance, I will also turn less to food to "reward" myself for my hard work. I won't say, "I deserve Little Caesar's Crazy Bread because I worked 12 hours today and only ate 300 calories worth of rice cakes and cheese".
I have got to stop being an all or nothing girl.... I have to start accepting a messy house (at times), a furry car, a dirty dog, an unfinished to do list (or 3... one for home and one for each job), and just do the best I can. The best I can to be balanced, not to be the best. I need to organize sleep, eat, work, play, social, etc. I know I won't even be perfect at that, but it's worth a shot... Now it's time for social... Kaylie time. Our last week at home and she's squeaking in her bed...
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