Day 6: Patience... My Achilles Heal

I have finally gotten to a point in this thing where it's not a big deal.  After a couple days, you don't have to drink the fiber drink anymore, you just have a couple supplements in the morning and evening.  Outside of pushing myself to drink the crazy amount of water, I actually think I've been eating well and following directions.  I am sure I should or could be eating more veggies and fruits, and maybe that would continue to push more weight off.  I've lost 3 pounds after 5 days of cleansing.  Not bad, but I hope to get more by the end.  Doing this cleanse is really not that big of a deal.  I think you get used to the diet and routine.  Used to eating 6 tiny meals a day and used to drinking lots of water.  I even went to a friend's house for a cookout and didn't really feel like I missed out.  Everyone else had a bun, cheese on their burger, cookies, and pop.  I ate my salad, burger, and watermelon and I was still fine. 

I think I had hoped to drop like 10 pounds, and I know it's not over, but after two mornings of no loss, I wonder if my loss is over?  I don't know how this thing works but I am going to finish it out strong and not give into the temptation to "cheat".  My mid-section feels slimmer and I have so much more energy.

 

I am 12 pounds away from my goal of pre-baby weight (that's down 42 pounds down).  I would like to keep that momentum going and just continue to eat better and slowly lose more weight over time.  With the deadline coming in 2 weeks and 2 days, I fear 12 pounds is out of reach.  I am not saying it can't happen but I am not going to do it in an unsafe way.  I am going to keep doing the right thing.  I know it's a process and the process is on it's own time line.  I always think it's good to have goals, even if you don't meet them right on your time line.  I hope by Christmas (10 months after birth) that I feel back to "normal".  Right now, I am in my clothes, still a little muffin top to contend with but nothing like it was even just weeks ago.

Again, it's comes back to patience.  I suck at the long haul.  I want the instant gratification of stepping on the scale and each day and dropping weight.  But that's not reality.  The reality is there are days and sometimes weeks where you stall, but you can't stop.  You can't go back to bad habits.  I am trying to get to the point where I am content with where I am in this process each day.  I am trying to get to the point where I look in the mirror and am happy but then as I make progress I get more happy.  

In Philippians 4:11, Paul is talking about knowing how to be content in all situations.  With or without.  I want to learn to be like that.  I want to be content in all times and circumstances.  Content with my weight, my look, my marriage, my job, my stress level, my family.  I want to learn to be in a place that I am not happy about aspects of it, but able to maintain my joy.  I want to get to a point where I realize that each day is a blessing.  Each day of my "dissatisfaction" is only a matter of perception.  Each day of glass half empty is a day of unnecessary glum and drum.  I want to learn that before I go back to work.  I want to focus on my JOY rather than my "poor me's".  I want to figure out how to separate all that junk that people try to bring into my life intentionally or unintentionally and let them hold it or figure out a way to just set it down.  I would like to learn to "live and let live" and be able to walk away without feeling so much ownership for other people's feelings.  It's probably all extra weight (emotional, spiritual and physical) that I do not need in my life.  Oh another day, another thing to think about...