Day 7: The Ultimate Sacrifice

Sitting around a table at a bachelorette party at a pizza place, Napolese, in Indy.  A group of us girls celebrating my friend and discussing there is never a "good" time to do a cleanse in life because there is always something going on where you don't want to sacrifice.  Last night, however, I decided to be true to this cleanse and eat clean and not drink anything but water.  I was worried for a bit that I'd be seen as a "no fun Sally" but I was amazed how many other people are doing cleanses, eating clean and totally understood.  My generation of women seems to be getting this "Eating Clean Revolution".

We talked about the variations of clean eating, processed foods, and how to cook while working.  It was encouraging to hear normal people (who decided to eat pizza) usually lived their lives clean and healthy.  All skinny, pretty, women who weren't doing anything out of the ordinary, just changing up lifestyle to be healthier.

So while I didn't eat pizza or drink last night, I thought of it as a way to tell myself that I can do this in any situation.  Not going to lie, I was having the sweats and withdrawal symptoms even before we left.  I know what I usually get on the menu.  A Broken Yolk Pizza, maybe some bruchetta, and a diet coke.  Oh crap, I can't order ANY of that on the clean foods diet.  Refined sugars and flour, artificial sweeteners.  Now, what?  God, it would taste sooo good to eat that.  It smells like HEAVEN out here.  Everyone else is doing it....  (Pause)   No,  I can resist it.  And at the end of the meal (and their dessert), there were many complaints about upset tummies and feeling bloated... I, on the other hand, was so full of energy and in a great mood.  I felt thinner (except my damn boobs that are still 2 cup sizes larger than they were before the baby).  I wore a SIZE 8 dress last night.  FREAKING SIZE 8!!  I have not dropped anymore weight as of today's report.  I had to wear Spanx, and I sure and hell was so happy to unzip it by the end of the night but I WAS ABLE TO ZIP UP a dress that I commonly wore my senior year of college.  Holy Frappachino that felt awesome!

I still worked out yesterday morning and followed the diet, although eating two salads (with no cheese or carbs) out yesterday I think maybe were not that healthy due to the variations of balsamic dressings.  I stayed up until almost 2 am and enjoyed myself.  Once I was out in the public and out of my bathroom, I realized that I am doing really well.  I have such high standards in my bathroom, but when I see the general public, I am not HUGE.  I am not even "fat".  In my head, I want to be shaped and proportioned like someone I will never be.  I want to be that cute skinny mommy and I am realizing more and more even while cleansing that at some point, my body is going to stay somewhat curvy (sexy.. maybe?).

With three days left to go, I've gotten over my biggest sacrifice,,,, I went to a freakin artisan pizza place and only ate salad....  Sounds so dumb, but with the smell and it being right in front of my face, I wanted to rip off that crust SO bad.  I wanted to eat the cheese and broken yolks.   I wanted to eat the bacon...  Oh, but I kept my head and hands in my salad bowl.  I know I could have splurged.  Probably wouldn't have done much damage, but it was the principle of the matter.  So much in my life I make exceptions to make other people happy.  I eat the pizza because I don't want to make a fuss.  I was raised under the "take what's being offered"' mentality.  I could have followed the crowd, ate pizza, drank wine, took shots, drank beer... But I wouldn't be proud of myself today.  Instead I woke energetic.  Proud of myself.  (slightly discouraged there is still no change in the numbers) but I see I am NOT who I was in my relationship with food.  It's like the first time in college after a bad break up that I didn't call him after a night out... or think about him.... or stalk his facebook when I got home.    I feel like I am over a hill.  I don't want to ever look back.

I was content in my circumstances last night.  Prayer answered so quickly.  I am motivated.  Good thing I have a soccer game tonight :)