The Peak of Dawn

Tomorrow is my wedding.  The dress is hanging up on the door, my bags are packed, and the rehearsal is over with.  Ironically, I think I've worked out most of the anxiety for the night.  In silence I sit and think about the day ahead.  It's like I know this journey is about to have it's splendor.  There is excitement, but this feels like those first few minutes in the dark before the sun comes over the horizon.  I know it's coming on it's time and I have an ironic sense of peace about it.  This last 13 months has been months of planning and today I crossed off the last of the tasks on theknot.com's to do list. 

The hard part is over.  The climb, the struggles, the decisions.  Now I just have to wait to float down that aisle and marry the man of my dreams.  To some that would be anxiety provoking, but for me, it feels like it's just meant to be.  I have no doubts going into tomorrow.  I feel like I am about to be a little more complete.  I am ready to get married.  I am ready to finally call Chris my husband.

I am tired, maybe even worn out.  Tomorrow will be a long day, but a day of joy.  I have pictured it in my head, and like all of my pictures, it will probably be different, but I have a few magical moments when I stop feeling like I could throw up, stop sweating, and just realize the magic, the power, the holiness of the day.  Tonight is my solitude with the creator of marriage.  I am in awe that I was created and have found a love like this.  No where in my life story do I find that I deserve this kind of love, but here I am....  God has been so good to me, and it's about to get better.  Now I just wait.  The sun is about to rise and I am so close.  The splendor of a sun rise or a sun set is so small in comparison to the time in a day.  I want to savor it.  I want to bask in it.  I want to be at peace and attentive to detail and find pure joy in it.  This is my sunrise, one of the few in my life. 

8 hours from now, the happiest day of my life will begin.  There will be storms in life ahead, but tomorrow is my moment in the sun.  Once in a lifetime moments have made up a good chunk of the last year: getting a masters, getting engaged, buying a house, and now getting married.  This one is the big one.  I'm ready, I'm joyful, and I cannot wait to be Mrs. Christopher James Siegl.