Thank You Kaylie

Dear Kaylie,

Today is  Mother's Day.  My first mother's day as a mother, and I wanted to say thank you for making me a mother.  The last 14 weeks of my life (and the nine months before that), I went from wondering if I would ever be a mother to being your mom.  The greatest gift in the world is knowing God's given me a daughter to pass on the legacy of a mother daughter bond.  I've been blessed to be in a family where I saw my mother's mother's mother (your great-great grandmother) in relationship with my grandmother, and my grandmother in relationship with my mother, and I've been very blessed to have such a close relationship with my mother.  I see through that line of women the uniqueness of each woman down the line but the intimate relationship that only a mother and daughter share.  And now, I get to have that with you.  From the moment I first realized you were in me, I felt connected and each day my love for you grows.  I feel like, "how could I ever love you more?", but then you learned to make eye contact, then smile, and now you've said "mama" about four times.  And with each milestone, I love you a little bit more.  I never lose love for you though.  Even when you cry, wake me up at four, or just are over stimulated and upset, I never lose love.  I just desire to make you happy again. 

Being a mother after being a daughter is an amazing experience.  I look at you and wonder what I'll be like when you become a mother and maybe even when you become a grand mother.  It's so crazy to think of the legacy of women that I come from and now that you will come from.  And crazier to think of the legacy of more children down from you some day.  It's a pretty neat thing God designed.  He created us to leave a legacy, and you are part of my legacy.  Part of me will live with you forever and you will continue to pass on part of me to your children, too. 

Today was a special day I never knew I would have.  I got to wake up and look at the gift I was given and celebrate being a mother.  Not every woman can be a mother.  Some are single and want to find the love of their life before they start a family, some are infertile and go through the pain and strife of trying to have a baby, and some lose babies through miscarriage or death early in life and this day is a day of mourning rather than joy.  I just want you to know how much you're treasured and loved.  No matter who you become, what you do, or where you go, I will always love you so very much.  Thank you for teaching me to love in a deeper way than I have ever known.  Thank you for showing me what it feels like to truly put someone above yourself.  Thank you for changing my heart.  Thank you for making me put life into perspective.  Thank you for giving me so much grace the last 14 weeks.  Thank you for being a good little sleeper.  Thank you for being a little bit of me, a lot of your dad, and a little sprinkle of the legacy you came from.  This Mother's Day, our first of many together, I just wanted to thank you for making me a Mommy.  You're pretty cool yourself. 

I love you,

Your Mama....