I am finding more and more friends who are pregnant or just were. They all have different beliefs about just about everything. It's not just about to have an epidural or not, nowadays, there is whole books on birth plans and procedures. What happened to having a kid, dad cuts the cord, go home and call it a day? Maybe it's the fact that my little Siegl nugget was a surprise, but I just feel almost frustrated by the amount of obsession that goes around having a baby. Millions of healthy babies are born every year with parents with poor genetics, poor diet, lack of exercise, alcohol use, improper vitamin balances, etc. But I suppose if I had a child who had some kind of medical condition I would constantly second guess all the choices I made... But to what extreme is all this anxious, OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE, rule following a bit over the edge?
Today's world isn't' simple. Science can make anyone paranoid about germs, genetics, DNA mutations, etc. So far, I ate lunch meat twice, rarely truly track my caffeine in-take, eat compound complex carbs like it's the only food group on the planet, take Tylenol PM some nights to sleep better, and have a nice little combo pack of meds the days I want to toss my cookies. Does that make me a bad mom? As this journey goes on, I realize that my rebellious, "do it my way", march to the beat of my own drum does not just affect me anymore. Now each choice affects Baby Nugget. Is this why God gave women the responsibility of bearing children?
This week will be the 12 week mark.... Out of the woods or so they say of the first trimester, but just starting a long journey of making choices for my kid. I can't see myself cleaning cloth diapers or always feeding my tot organic veggies. I don't even eat that way myself. I say I only want my kid to watch an hour of TV, but sometimes I just like to cancel out a rainy day (or a 110 degree heat index day) and watch movies in my jammies while eating junk food. I've never been 100% healthy, perfect, or following the rules. I find the rules I like, I do what I want... and for the first time in my life (except for after getting scolded and grounded) I am seriously thinking about my choices.
Do I have to lose myself to be a good parent, or is "good" a relative term here? These little baby books certainly have a lot of advice, and friends (with and without kids) they have lots of advice, too. Surprisingly, my mom, the one who I thought would be my "baby making coach", has been relatively mellow stressing the fact that I need to chill out, eat what I can, and not worry too much about much of anything. I suppose I turned out ok... She had some wine, lots of lunch meat, a little caffeine, gained 50 pounds, and delivered me two weeks late. She let me eat lots of processed foods as a kid and take cans of Surge in my lunch with my pizza lunchable that I heated up in a microwave without proper services of whole grains, veggies and fruit. She let me run outside without shoes, be exposed to daycare centers, and play in the bath tub until the water was cold and my fingers looks like raisins. She also read me stories at bedtime until I was seven, snuggled me a lot, let me hug her even if she was super late for work, got up with me when I was coughing in the middle of the night, and came to a few of my school holiday parties. Sure it wasn't perfect, but it was good for me.
This being a mother thing is scary stuff. I guess you just wing it, pray it comes out right, and always try your best without losing yourself in the process. Sounds like my method for life so far, and I guess I can handle that. I am sure I won't have a perfect kid (Karma shows I deserve a class clown who talks back a lot and never takes no for an answer), but I know one thing for sure, no matter how I choose to do this mommy thing, I know God will help it just work out in that way He always does....
And if not, at least the kid has a grandma who was able to raise two fairly normal kids....
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