The Power of My Words to Make Change

I have a love-hate relationship with New Year's Resolutions.  Some years, I am make them, and they jump start my brain back into the person I want to be.  Other years, I set these crazy and unrealistic life plans that leave me feeling like a failure after three weeks.  So this year, my hubby and I sat down in the living room over the mac fumbling over the last year and what we saw as strengths and weaknesses in our relationship, health, relationships with others, finances, etc.  We realized that maybe 2012 would be a great year to try and continue on good habits and restarts ones we had when we were single.  Here are my set of goals from our list:

2012 Lifestyle Goals

Spiritual

            Continue to be involved with weekly small group

            Complete all small group activities intentionally

Marriage

            Utilize small group for relationship building

            Date night 1 x per month

            See fertility doctor by March

Professional

            Develop a plan to get into private practice and start seeing clients before 06/12

            K- Complete license paperwork by 10/12

Diet

            Not eating past 8:30pm

            Not eating more than 1 serving of bread per day

            No white carbs

            1 vegetable serving every day

            1 fruit serving every day

            Stop using food rewards (use clothes, fun activities, bark park, etc)

            Red meat 1 x per week max

Exercise

            Work out 5 times per week min, 6 times max

            Complete Bob’s 6 week DVD series

            Not required to be together for workouts

            In order for a walk to count, it has to be at least 2 big loops

Financial

            Stick to budget we have set, no going over into next month’s spending

            Pay off furniture payment, use payments to go towards additional student loans

            Use Dave Ramsey’s envelope’s for purchases over $100

Lifestyle

            Limit to 1 TV show per night

            Walk Macy morning and night time

            Dine out 2 x per week max

            1 Nalgene of water/day

            Bed time is 10:30 on work nights

            Plan the next day’s schedule @ 10 PM

Rewards

            $25 per month if you achieve diet & exercise goals

            Monthly rewards can be “pushed” forward for a larger reward

As I got into it, I realized that most of these goals were more than feasible.  And as we listened to Joel Osteen (http://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/Pages/ThisWeeksMessage.aspx) talk about how we talk about ourselves, I realized that the only thing that has ever held me back is myself.  I am my biggest road block or my greatest vehicle for movement....  


Joel talked about how we talk about ourselves and the self-fulfilling prophecies we have for ourselves.  How many times do I call myself fat?  I say, if only I was ten pounds thinner or if only I didn't waste so much money on diet coke...   When I was about 12, I used to sit down in a chair and trace lines into my leg of where I wish there was not fat.  I obsess over my "muffin top" and my cottage cheese legs.  I sometimes let myself say, "oh well, at least I am married now" as if Chris has to love me just because we are married and not because I feel beautiful that day.   I have so many criticisms, but how can I possibly believe in myself if I am always putting myself down?

So resolution number one this year before the lifestyle goals is to believe in myself.  In my private practice workbook, I had to write what held me back from private practice and what I wrote was "the fear of failure" and my fear of failing comes out in each thing I say.  If I let my lips steer the ship of my life, I am going to end up fat, depressed, bored, unsuccessful, and without friends.  If I let God's truth about me pour from my lips, I will have hope, be sure of my good future, and be a blessing to myself and others.  God is going to use me for GREAT things this year.  And as I start to shape my life to a holistically healthy plan, I think the fruits of each of my labors will grow.  The counter to my fear of failure was a phrase I thought could challenge my fears with  which was, "I am in control of today" and I hope to use this phrase when my self doubt creeps in.  I am in control of each thing I eat, each dollar I spend, each minute I use.  I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength.  I am going to say in the morning:  "I am God's creation, created in His image, and I am beautiful, strong, and healthy".  I am going to control temptation to eat solid sugars by saying, "I am in control of myself and my diet".  I am going to control my urge to procrastinate starting my business plans out of fear and say, "I am going to be successful in the business".  I am going to be in control and aware of my heart this year.  I think the rest of those goals will fall into place if I can just start believing in ME!

So here's to another year, another hope, a reset button in my brain to be more of the person who God wants me to be....