Last night while I was trying to get my 8 hours of beauty rest, I had a crazy dream. So crazy, I remember infinite details about this dream. The dream was about my wedding day. And if this isn't a metaphor for my life right now, I am not sure what is...
The dream started the day of the wedding. We were checking into the hotel rooms and going to get ready. There were other weddings going on that day. There were other brides and their parties, and they had it all together. They looked beautiful and their reception rooms were all in place. They had the bigger rooms and more elaborate tablescapes. I was still content with mine, but I began to worry what everyone else would think. But then I realized I needed to find my room.
Or so I thought. The next portion of the dream I went up and down the elevator trying to find the room with the number on my key. I went up and down a number of times and got into certain rooms and realized they weren't the right ones. I don't think I ever found the room to lay my stuff down.
So I decided I would take a shower in someone else's room. People kept popping in on me and it made me uncomfortable and embarrassed. I remember saying, "can't you all just leave me alone?" Then I made my way, still not in my wedding dress, downstairs. The guys were all ready but their tuxes came in wrong so they were wearing what appeared to be like a Robin Hood-like tights (in Tiffany's Blue) and white shirts that were puffy and airy. The girls dresses turned yellow with little white flowers on them. (I think any bride would have flipped out by now)... But in the dream I just kept thinking, "eh oh well, I can't change it". The girls were getting their hair done and it looked like a peacock, but again I said, "ugh I don't like this, but there is nothing I can do". I remember the last part of the dream was I was so upset on the inside I just thought, I will go back in and get ready. It will just have to be ok. I have to trust it will work out.
Inside the hustle and bustle had died down. I saw Chris and I ran to him. (He of course, was already in his tux and looked amazing). We hugged, and it ended.... I woke up...
I could make the ties for the metaphor for you, but for those that know my life right now, it's pretty spot on to how I feel. There is all this mess, but when I look back inside myself, I know what really matters is right how it should be. I think I am pretty lucky that amongst all of this helter skelter there is a handsome, very tall, and supportive man waiting to marry me. No matter how messy, chaotic and crazy my life is right now (despite all of my neurotic tendencies to want to keep it together).
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